World trotter anyone?!

I do not know about you, but I feel weird and out of sort whenever another woman compliments me. I feel happy, and there is no doubt to that, but at the same time I feel uncomfortable as well.

Lately I have been receiving so many compliments from my fellow species that I blushed at every compliment.

I know I am beautiful and that I am capable of many things in life, but to have another woman affirmed that for me is just mind blowing. I have had many people encourage me, but few times do I receive encouragement from another woman.

I had a conversation with P the other night and the topic of our discussion drifted to genealogy. I told him that some years back I did a search of my genealogy search on my last name, however it yield some strange results. The results says that I have got Chinese, Irish and Czech ancestry. How unique.

I remember looking into the mirror, examining my looks. I remember telling my friends, and the first comment they made were, “You have neither Irish eyes, nor do you have any European features in you, but you are definitely a beauty.”

Another said, “You do look Asian, however you do not look like a Chinese, I never thought you were a Chinese.”

This shocked me a little. I have never have thought that some one would remarked that I am not a Chinese. They thought that I am a Singaporean and that it is also a racial group too. I laugh upon hearing it…

I wanted to say how stupid they are, but I was reminded right then how big the world is, and much of it I haven’t seen.

Some day I will see it.

Personal Finances Management! Anyone?!

I went to breakfast alone today. It is a refreshing experience. I sat down with Melissa and Shannon for breakfast and was amazed to see James. I have not see James for some time now and was just wondering what happen to him, and then all of a sudden he appears. This guy! He gives everyone fits!!!

Breakfast was good. I had two scrambled eggs and some potatoes, as usual with a generous dose of pepper.

I went down to the bookstore today and there was a book sale. A good majority of the books are centered around the topic of religion and literature. I picked up a book entitled, “On My Own… And Clueless…” I mused at the title of the book and thought it really does describe my current situation best. I am indeed alone in a foreign and clueless about almost every other thing social. I must confess, I have a hard time making friends and I am very selective of the people I mingle with. I am often bad at maintaining friendships. I am incredibly self-conscious and often do not call my friends because I am afraid of calling them at the wrong time, and am most afraid of dealing with long periods of silence on the phone.

I bought the book and as I was tumbling through the pages of the book, I came across the section of finances, and I thought I will share a little food for thought.

There are a huge variety of checking accounts, but the best ones are actually the interest bearing accounts, where the bank actually pays you a fee each month for banking with them. To prevent myself from overspending, always have a savings account in another bank, this way, you would be able to separate out your savings from the rest of your finances.

“To remove the temptation of dropping below your minimum balance, consider excluding the minimum amount balance of $500/- and open your account with $700/-, simply write a starting balance of $200/- in your register. If you pretend the minimum balance is not there, you are less likely to spend it. The only time you need “to remember” the extra funds is when you balance your checkbook every now and then. “

Some types of free checking accounts also have other restrictions. You may be limited to a maximum number of checks you can write every month. And be charged a service fee for each check beyond that limit.

As quoted in the book, “with the rise of internet banking, some banks are offering accounts that are free as long as all of your transactions are done electronically. If you actually go into a bank for a transaction, you will be charged a service fee.”

I find this is interesting.

London Shooting

This morning was a rather perplexing one. MB and I went for breakfast and we had some other people come and sat with us. At first it was interesting. We talked about every other sort of things, and then things turned interesting.

We began to discuss about Utah. We talked about how Utah is different from the rest of the world, and how living in a Mormon populated state would generate some unique stereotypes of people.

For example, if you asked to go to a club and dance in Utah, people would frown at the decision, and they would think you are a drug addict of some kind. I laugh at the thought of it, but then I pause to think for a moment, and for a little while it made perfect sense to me why they would arrive at such a perception.

Asides all of this, I must confess, I am getting rather uncomfortable with the thought of people ignoring me whenever people come over and talk to MB and then thrust me aside after they pass the mandatory move of asking for my name. I puzzled about why people would be more interested in getting to know MB and not me. Is there something wrong with me?

I feel a shudder when I read the London Shooting. An innocent man was shot five time in his head, and yet there is not a sound explanation to offer for such an action. I cannot think how cold people can be, and how we could conveniently blame others for the choices we make.

There should be some kind of explanation to it, other than the terrorist activities in this world.

Gay Marriages

As I walked into the Aloha center here on campus, I was immediately greeted by snippets and shots of a gay marriage ceremony on mainland America, broadcasted via CNN. At that very moment, I was reminded of the issues of gay marriages and the research I try to conduct back home.

About two years ago, when the Singapore government came up with the revelation for the legalization of gay marriages, it stumped me for a little while. For the first time, I stopped to think what kind of consequence would such a revelation created for a global village.

What shocked me more was how much the society has changed. I thought, how in all probability the youth of the 21th cenutry have turn out to be. What is going on in the head of the government, and in the minds of the older generation? What does your parents think?

Everywhere around the world, people are becoming more liberal. Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die; this has become a household phrase, but is this what we should all live by? People everywhere live with a personal paradigm, through no fault of theirs they allow it to contour their lives.

There is no sin in it. We all do it and we are not aware of it.

I wonder:

how the human race will increase in population again.

how a child’s perception of mom and dad will change if he/she is adopted by a gay couple.

what if the child would think that being gay is normal.

how the world will would think of gay marriage.

if people mean what they say when we question them about their perception on gay marriages.

will this turn into an eventual norm.


I have a lot more questions than these, however, I wonder if there is a cause in all of this pursuit.

I am not a homosexual and I highly doubt I would be one; however I do not persecute them for their actions. I give them due respect for who they are as I would to the woman/man next to me. Everyone has their free agency. However I must say the eventual legalization of gay marriages around the world will serve to hasten moral decadence of our society.

A writer? Am I?

For the past few days I have been searching for new blogging sites. I do not know why I am doing this. I have never stayed on any blogging sites for more than a year. This QT my best friend who resides in Huston could testify to. Is that an average life span of a blogger? I do not know, however I am looking for an answer to my question.

I did a search on Yahoo! Search engine, and was left with few options. The search only yields political blogs of various individuals. Individuals who can write things that would appeal to the taste of the masses. I venture into some of those blogs, but got discourage very quickly. I marvel at their ability to word and express their feelings so aptly.

I realize for the first time, that I have not the skills to write at all. I am typing now and I can hear the sounds of my keyboard and I can see all of these appearing on my screen, but all this does not mean a thing to me.

I yearn to write something that people will read, however I am never good with writing such things, I never know what interest people. I am never good with making conversations with people, although Luke and many of my other friends would disagree.

D says I am always too critical, he says I have got the curse of the writer. I like the sound of it. The curse of a writer, I am a writer. Am I? I want to be a writer, and yet I am always confronted with the fear of not being able to write. I hate to stare blankly at the screen and wonder what I should write. I hate to think that no one is reading my blog.

I do not know why. I write emails with ease, and when it comes to writing something formal, I am left with emptiness in my head. How can I write with ease?

Muslim Fundementalist?!

I wonder if I could write anything here and no one would ever know. No one reads it, at least not the people I know. It is also a comforting thought...

I am glad I got to talk to Luke last night. It was a rare sight to see him. Usually we would chat for a little while and then end up not seeing each other at all for weeks on end. We always have such good conversations; well at least I think so. Another reason why I like talking to him was because our conversations just flow naturally, although most of the time, the topic of our conversation are a little solemn in nature. I enjoy our conversations. It is nice to be able to talk to someone who knows about what is going on in this world.

A few weeks ago, Arby and I were discussing some issues related to the bomb attacks in London. Arby mentioned there is a huge number of Muslims living in Bradford, and I thought that is strange. I knew all along that there are many different cultural groups living in UK, but it just did not dawn on me that, there would be so much Muslims. He also goes on to talk about their way of life and how woman would typically walk behind a man. It is also a common sight for a woman to show respect to man. Women are not allowed to sit in the front seat of a car. If a man enters the car, she will need to give it up and move to the rear.

I thought it was a little strange and there is certainly nothing to justify such a tradition. I am also sadden by the stubbornness of people and how they would try with desperate means to try to cling onto their traditions when they knew deep within them that all of it is wrong. What shocked me most was the fact that these muslims lived in UK their whole lives, and yet they are still clinging onto to such a traditions, something which I cannot make sense of. I hope someday, things will change and that people all around the world can enjoy the same privileges too.

Back to Summer Job...

Last Saturday night was one of the best weekends I have had for a long time. I finally got to talk to QT again. It was nice to hear from him. I miss him so much and often I find myself thinking about him.

Have I ever told you how we met? We never actually did. Both of us lived in Singapore, but never found the time or put in the effort to hangout at all. It started with a dear old friend of ours. His name is Johnny. I guess I should thank him after all, even though he gets onto my nerves for the better part of our friendship. Johnny was never his name, but we call him that, and he is fine with it. Johnny introduce him into one of our many chat sessions on msn messenger and that was it. It was the begining of a friendship.

I actually want to proceed on and talk about him, but I realise, for everyone of my blogs, I have at least devoted one post to his name...

Now that I actually have the time to think about it, all of this sound so weird. Each time when someone reads about him on my blog, they would unmistakably thought of him as my boyfriend. Well he is not, but I think we would date, if his korean friend manage to locate me n Hawaii and bring me back with him to Huston in a luggage.

I just came back from watching a movie in my friend's room. The movie is call, "Win a Date with Tad Hamiliton". As you guess, it is a chick flick. Well I am a girl after all, and it makes sense that I have a certain inclination to watch it.

The movie features Tad Hamiliton as the typical hollywood badboy, who went on a blind date with a small town girl named Roselyn Futch. As you can probably guess, this movie has a typical romantic story line that leaves viewers going "Awwwwwww". A twenty first century fairytale, that lives in all our hearts.

Perhapes it has dawn on you that I have deleted all my previous posts of Hawaii. I must apologise, but as I browse through my previous posts, a feeling of uneasiness well up from within me. I realise I have been just typing in those lines as fillers for my blog, and I have not been putting in the effort and giving my blog the respect she deserves.

My day has been a long yet fun day. It is refreshing to do something different for a job. A friend of mine who resides in LA, said before that he admired me for the sacrifices I made to get back to college once again. Is it a sacrifice? I hardly think so. I perceive all of this to be an investment. I love living in Hawaii, but sometimes I get homesick. Well life is a bed of roses is it not? Roses have thorns after all.

One of my fav. movies

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events is a clear grip of the horror that lies within kiddie literature.

I do not think there was a moment where I was viewing the movie, I felt as if Snicket himself had led me by the hand.

The movie rolls, with Snicket narrating the story, who is actually Jude Law doing a gavely funny voice-over. He constantly warns against impending calamities that are about to befall on his young heroes, even to the point of suggesting that the viewer flee to a next-door cinema where a much happier film is playing. For a while, I was wondering if I had stepped into the wrong theater.

The story revoles around the Baudelaire orphans and their guardian Count Olaf.

Jim Carrey stars as Count Olaf, a wily yet flamboyant villain with clever disguises and outrageous schemes, who is bent on swindling the Baudelaire orphans's fortune.

Olaf employs various, often elaborate attempts to get his hands on the fortune of the Baudelaire orphans: 14-year old Violet (Emily Browning), pre-teen Klaus (Liam Aiken), and infant Sunny (Kara & Shelby Hoffman). These three are left on their own when a house fire claims the lives of their parents. Their unfortunate journey begins at Count Olaf's gloomy-looking mansion. Just when things seem their darkest, Olaf steps in, in time claiming himself to be their relative... Olaf thinks of the children's arrival as a godsend, for they provided him free labor and an access to a huge sum of money; that is until he learns that he can't legally touch the money unless the children die. But, before he can ensure their demise, he is stripped off his guardianship.

The orphans are given then to Uncle Monty (Billy Connolly), a scientist of some sort who dabbles with exotic reptiles and then to Aunt Josephine (Meryl Streep) who lives in a cliff side home. All the while, however, Olaf is plotting to once again to get his hands on the Baudelaires and their money.

The events slowly culminates in a circus performance where Olaf and his troupe of ne'er-do-well thespians conspire to have Olaf marry the eldest of the Baudelaire orphans, Violet.

The film is jammed with amusing gags, one of the best has the youngest orphan, Sunny, speaking in cackles, giggles and grunts that the other two understand perfectly well. For us, at least for me, I will make do with subtitles.

All in all, it is a fun and entertaining movie.

My random thoughts

I have had many blogs before this. I have lost count of them. My first blog came about when I was only 19. It was a plain old blog, with nothing interesting on it. I did not know any html coding, and I refused to play around with it, for fear that I might messed anything up. In fact, I do not remember what fueled the thought to set up my first blog. It started as a playground for me to develope my literary talent. That also led me to my "now-editor" cum teacher, Drew.

Drew lives in New South Wales,Australia. He is of white ethnicity. He has dark brown hair, and he is able to carry of the "unshaven" look very well. We talk every so often. Our conversations usually revolved around our friends, life and most importantly, my blog entries. He always says, I am talented, and that I can write, but somehow my pieces seem to lack of lustre. We attribute it to my age. He calls me the "blind Indiana Jones". Well I am still growing... one day.

Then one day, I decided to set up a blog again. Since then, I have had many times where I had unawaringly shaken hands with html. I am glad I did, because it seem to have dissipate my phobia for it.

Last December, I created Tantalizing. She was my first encounter with html, and the rest is history.

I like to write, it is not always easy. I cannot promise that I will always write nice stuff on here, but I will try my best to write things people would read. I will try not to ditch this blog.

I am an islander

January 11th, 2005, I found out that I was accepted to Brigham Young University - Hawaii. Since then I have been contemplating about my plans.

It is interesting, with the invention of modern technology the world seem to have shrink. Humans could easily send a message to another in a matter of seconds. We no longer shun at the idea of talking to a complete stranger. You have never met them before, and we call them our friends. We even muse at how incredible all of this is. Webcams are now the "in" way of meeting friends.

There is even a family who lives down the street who is possibly the only family I know to hold Family Home Evening over a conference call.Our love lives too has changed. Suddenly the possiblity of finding a spouses escalate a hundred fold. Our playground in love is the world. We are reminded constantly that he/she could be anywhere, and not just the city we live in.

How amazing.I am going to college, I am going to change, but however I am still an islander.