The Relationship... [Private]

I want to devote this entry to myself, and only to myself. You probably would not want to read this entry. I would oblige to talk about this here because I am aware that anyone who visits this Blog probably would have no inkling about what I am writing and so it is safe.

This is my drawing board and all because I know Lucas would not be able to read this. He is too upset right now to want to have anything to do with me.

I had a conversation with M, we were both talking about the little things in our lives and suddenly our conversation shifted to the talk of relationships. I told her how miserable I was for the past couple of days after Lucas “dump” me. She was surprised at my comment, but nevertheless she did not fail to encourage me.

Lucas was the “bad” boy in my life. He is not a member of the church, he never will be. We share an interesting mental relationship. We can communicate with each other; however when it comes to our relationship, things are different. We talked about how women seem to always fall for the bad boys and how bad boys seem to be more attractive. M disagrees. She refuted my point. She cracked up and said women are dumb. She then continued to elaborate on it by pointing out the fact that women think that by patiently waiting, some day their men will change for the better; however women die even before that could happen.

I disagree. It is not about being stupid or smart. It has everything to do with love. When you are in love with someone, everything they do becomes beautiful in your sight. All that you ever want is to be with them however short the moment might last. A smile from them brightens up your world; the sight of them makes everything better. Love leaves u oblivious to reality. It is not women that are stupid, men are too.

Lucas hopes that with patience and time, I will change for him, and be able to muster up enough courage to do the thing he wants. I on the other hand, was waiting for him to change and accept the church. We are butting heads against each other. We are blind to the one obvious flaw that lies within the relationship. Both of us possess strong personalities, and to change would seem to alter the structure of our universe. He said before, “Why do we need to let religion come in the way of our relationship?” Why does religion have to occupy such a huge part of my life?

Life is bed of roses and roses have thorns. Ultimately we are who we are, humans do not change...

I did not mean to sound melancholia; I just need to let it out